Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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