It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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