he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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