i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
