Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
