We're facebook friends in real life
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
