My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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