Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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