I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
