I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im part way to drunk.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize