were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
