Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
