eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
