If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
