its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The adults are the big ones right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
