you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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