a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
