Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
