Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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