That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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