the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
