I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
