1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
