is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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