In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
