That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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