Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
