Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
