all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
