what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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