This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
well you can't waste a boner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
