What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
