Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
