Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
