It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
