Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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