apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
