I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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