just tell him i said nine months
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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