She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
