He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize