yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
