Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
