I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
