Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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