belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
