Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
