You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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