Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
