The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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