I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
