so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
