not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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