got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
