I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
