guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
