New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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