Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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