Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
