Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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