I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
