we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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